B.P.R.D. 1946 # 4
Written by Mike Mignola & Joshua Dysart
Art by Paul Azaceta & Nick Filardi
Published by Dark Horse Comics
Preview
In a way, this might be the slightest issue of this mini-series so far--it is, after all, the part of the story where the major players sit down and lay out everything they've learned so far. If you'd read the first three of the story, then it's all a bit of a retread--an interesting enough retread, as it does involve Hitler's last ditch attempt to use vampires to destroy the world--but the only thing that's really new is an interrogation scene. Of course, it is an interrogation scene involving the demonic little Hummel doll of a girl who's turned out to be the finest addition to Mignola's world of weirdos since he came up with a possessed Army general, so it's actually a pretty great comic. Unsurprisingly, B.P.R.D. is the one series that can get away with repeating itself solely by chucking some creativity onto the fire. On top of all that, the next issue involves a severed head in a robot spider-body--and if that's not one of your main reasons for buying mainstream comic books, then you never really cared about this industry in the first place.
Batman Confidential # 16
Written by Tony Bedard
Art by Rags Morales, Mick Gray, Rodney Ramos & I.L.L.
Published by DC Comics
If you like to see what it looks like when all reason and sanity keep getting propped up and finger-fucked even though those vaunted staples died with the original Anti-Monitor, go to the DC message boards. There, you'll find out that there's actual real human beings that look forward to a new issue of Tony Bedard's Batman Confidential story, of which this is the completely non-dramatic conclusion. Then sit back and think about the fact that these are the kind of people who can negate every piece of research you've done to decide who you're going to vote for, because these are Americans, and they are responsible for making sure they clean their sure-to-be-covered-in-syphilis hands before they serve you fries. These are real human beings, and this is their comic: my mouth is full of blood. The snake has risen. The three-in-one will destroy us all. Brimstone!
Titans # 1
Written by Judd Winick
Art by Ian Churchill, Norm Rapmund & Edgar Delagado
Published by DC Comics
Rumor has it that this is the worst comic of the year so far. Really though? Isn't that Badger Saves The World thing still coming out? That's got to be worse. This has boobs in it, right? Apparently this is a continuation of some story that started last year, that involved some people no one here at the office has ever heard of. (Son of Vulcan? That's a real character name? Did somebodies kid have cancer? Was that "his wish?") It isn't like it really matters to the story anyway--this is just another "let's check in on a bunch of characters, most of whom have unsuccessful solo series and one of them is named Red I Have A Kid I Have A Kid, No Personality, Kid Instead Arrow" kind of things. Otherwise, there's not much here, excepting a hint of spank material. Is Starfire having sex with Animal Man's kid? Does that kid still have a mullet? I've got Questions, they need Answering. We did find out that some people are looking forward to reading more of this, because of the shower scene with Wally West, which is a reminder to us all: as much as people say they hate Judd Winick, there's probably a lot of babies and dirty hand towels that should be thanking Judd Winick right now. He's covering both sides of the "too cheap to buy real porn" equation. Comics! Not just for male toll-booth workers!
Criminal # 2
Written by Ed Brubaker
Art by Sean Phillips & Val Staples
Published by Icon/Marvel Comics
While the first volume of Criminal focused on Brubaker's version of heist and revenge flicks, the meat of this second volume seems to be him and Sean Phillips taking on an even more popular crime story--the extended saga, the opus, the Godfather-type epic. After a tremendously unsettling first issue, one that brought forth the kindest of Criminal's bad men, only to cripple him permanently, Brubaker and Phillips turn to another side of the chapter--here, instead of further exploring the Hyde family internally, they jump to Teeg Lawless, father to the protagonist from last year's volume of the series. He's a tough, battle scarred Vietnam veteran, suffering and embracing his alcoholism, and by the end of this extended issue, he's put more bodies into the ground. There's plenty of extended looks at this issue by some talented critics--we're content to say that this is one of the strongest issues in an incredibly good series so far.
Wormwood Gentleman Corpse: Calamari Rising # 3
By Ben Templesmith
Published by IDW Publishing
The heart and soul of enjoying Wormwood Gentleman Corpse is acknowledging and ignoring the similarities to Vertigo's John Constantine--more difficult in this issue than previously, as Wormwood spends most of it spitting out things like "Let a bloke have a last smoke" and "Bugger." That being said, there was room on the I-liked-this-train as it was a pretty awful week in comics, and Ben Templesmith continues to show off why he's a real talent on the art front, even as he's taking a bit of the slacker's route with the dialog. It's been a little while since he's gotten the chance to draw big things blowing up, and Templesmith's version of that comics trope is relatively unique--when is the last time somebody drew an explosion and included, in bold, the text "Insert Something Loud Here?" If that sounds cheap and stupid, then you're missing the point already.
Fantastic Four # 556
Written by Mark Millar
Art by Bryan Hitch, Andre Currie & Paul Mounts
Published by Marvel Comics
God, whoever handled snowflake detail on this issue needs to be run over by a car, maybe one of the last of the great Interceptors, because this piece of what-the-hell is almost unreadable. It looks like one of those really cheap back issues of ROM where some kid thought he'd "help" the artist by including pleas to "get me outt of house daddy touch bad" and "hurt when make pee." It's like, hey, I'm sorry you're poor, i'm trying to read about this fucking Space Knight though and I paid a dime for this you ungrateful thing. Anyway, Millar's really phoning it in on this one--maybe this is supposed to be interesting, reading these speed-metal stories about Reed Richards and his smarts, and his space-motorcycle, or whatever, but this shit is just interminable. It's the equivalent of eavesdropping on some guy describing a bad first date when you're waiting for a delayed flight--sure, it's better than staring at those wheelchair people and wondering why they even sell them tickets anyway, because how different is your location when you can't even walk, you know? But shit, I'll listen to you talk about how she doesn't like the NBA, just college basketball, and you don't know WHY Sheryl set you up with her, but fuck it, she did, and really, can I just get on the plane? I don't care whether Reed stops this giant robot, it's not like they're in a city. It's a military base in Alaska. Big fucking deal.
The Last Defenders # 2
Written by Joe Casey & Keith Giffen
Art by Jim Muniz, Cam Smith & Antonio Fabela
Published by Marvel Comics
It would do well for Marvel to publish more of these sort of stories--quirky little super-hero comics that utilize all of the trappings of their status quo with none of the deadweight moralizing. The Last Defenders is a special sort of odd--the same ragtag group of losers from the first issue, more of the ridiculously named and hilariously effete Damion Hellstrom, Son of Satan at a bad dinner party on the outskirts of the galaxy, and a relationship that, if it isn't an in-the-closet romance, really should be. (Between the who-is-this-guy Nighthawk and Joaquin Pennysworth, a name that is plastered to an alpha dog black man built like a professional wrestler. Wait a second, read that again. His name is Joaquin Pennysworth, and he looks like Denzel crossed with Ric Flair.) Nothing about Last Defenders is especially memorable, and it's not as funny as Nextwave, but it's certainly nowhere near the realm of Serious Comics About Spandexed Asshats that is pretty much everything else in the Marvel oeuvre.
Wolverine # 64
Written by Jason Aaron
Art by Ron Garney & Jason Keith
Published by Marvel Comics
Why Ron Garney ever allowed anyone to ink his work is one of those questions that deserves some kind of sensible answer--his work, while pretty much standard super-hero stuff, has never looked as good as it does in these recent issues of Wolverine. While the history of Dipshit McStabbathon is full of moments where all his Canadian flesh has been seared off the bone, Garney's pulled off a version of a hideously burned Wolverine that should stand as the definitive portrayal. (Of course, considering Wolvsie gets burned about as often as David Archuleta makes this reader want to castrate his grandfather, Garney's work will soon be replaced by a tragic Greg Land version.) It's too bad that Aaron seems to be dealing with his increased workload (he's now writing 67% of Marvel's output) by repeating, almost word for word, the same irritating dialog where Lamesy Bladefingers complains to the reader about how much "it hurts to recover from getting shot," yet another in the long list of "facts" that now stand in for the non-development of one of the most overused and under-written characters in the lineage of irritatingly pretentious mutants that populate the Marvel universe.
Young Liars # 2
By David Lapham
Published by Vertigo/DC Comics
There's this totally awesomely stupid tactic that Vertigo is pulling off with it's new series lately--see, instead of capitalizing on the fact that the most knuckle-dragging idiot is more likely to buy Witchblade Eats A Transformer if there's a big number 1 plastered on the cover, all the latest Vertigo comics choose to publish firsties that don't serve as anything more than the worst possible script outline of what looks to be a terrible series. Then, to reward anybody who is either stupid enough to come back for more, or just desperate to read something, anything, not having to do with the Red Goddamned Arrow, doesn't matter what, anything, hell, it can have an Alex Ross cover, it can be about talking plastic, anything: then Vertigo publishes something good. On the second issue. Even though no one is excited about the series, after reading the first issue? Totally blah blah sleepytime. So yeah, second issue of Young Liars? Better than the song Young Liars, which isn't a bad song at all.
-Tucker Stone, 2008
Young Liars #2 would have to reach Shaq levels of awesomeness to make up for #1. That was as embarrassing as anything Meltzer or Winick-related.
Posted by: Garrett Martin | 2008.04.14 at 13:32
"Shaq levels of awesomeness" is my new measuring stick. Thats a good one, ha.
Posted by: Frank Santoro | 2008.04.18 at 13:32